A Poem About Passion (With Commentary)

SIGNIFICANT OTHER

your love is a blur
it tunnels through me
tripping my wires
neurons buzzing glee

and I will never forget
how you came undone
your body a bundle of nerves
on the tip of my tongue

crashing my hard drive
your love is a surge
fluid fast and fantastic
it streams like a vivid dream

and I will never forget
how you came undone
your body a bundle of nerves
on the tip of my tongue

it ruffles my feathers
all up in my face
your love is a windstorm
swaying my treetops

and I will never forget
how you came undone
your body a bundle of nerves
on the tip of my tongue

lit like a bottle rocket
craving sweet release
it shoots me sky high
your love is a blast

and I will never forget
how you came undone
your body a bundle of nerves
on the tip of my tongue

***

This poem is more like a song to me.  I don’t know how to compose music, but I’ve always felt like I could write lyrics, and this piece fits the bill.

You’ll notice the chorus repeats after each verse.  It’s difficult to devise a strong, effective chorus that won’t bore readers as they go over it multiple times; I believe that this chorus does a good job of conveying the central meaning of the poem, which is a description of the speaker’s passion for his/her “significant other.”

Notice, too, how in each verse there exist four types of lines, all of which are distinguished by their first word.  We have the “your love” line, the “it” line, the “-ing” line, and the line that begins with an adjective.  By the time we reach the end of the piece, each type of line has occupied each spot, one through four, over the course of the entire four verses.  Getting this to work was not easy!

As for the chorus, you may have uncovered some sexual overtones.  These are, of course, intended; however, I’d like to think that this piece is more about wanting to be close with someone rather than merely the act of “being intimate.”  It’s as though the speaker desires his/her lover so much that nothing, not even sex, can satisfy the passion.

The desire is so intense, in fact, that the speaker can barely express it; not only is the lover “on the tip of my tongue,” according to the speaker, but so is the speaker’s capacity to formulate the words to describe the passion, like a word or phrase that dances on the tip of one’s tongue.

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