I help hoarders find Jesus.
I’m a tree surgeon looking to branch out.
I’m a Charlie Brown impersonator. Call me Chuck.
I’m a good grief counselor. I charge five cents.
I import exporters.
I encourage mimes to speak their minds.
I make magicians disappear.
I tell jokes on TV. I keep it clean. I swear.
I’m a bad plumber but a great lover. My wife is always wet.
I’m a hoarse whisperer.
I inspect library books for double meanings and cross them out.
I count census workers.
I sell luxury clown cars. Draw blood. Pound sand. Raise cranes.
I’m a stay-at-home cad.
I greet Walmart customers in my Target uniform and say welcome to Kohl’s.
I’m an unforeseen event planner.
I cry Wolf Blitzer and shout fake news.
I’m a poet. The pay sucks. I sing the blues.