Right now is Batman tying up Robin? Is Joaquin Phoenix
doing stand-up comedy? Is Elmer Fudd, a notorious
neat freak, hunting dust bunnies? Where’s Ralph Waldo
Emerson right now? Is Walt Whitman shaving his beard?
How many Willows are weeping? How many Adams
are splitting bananas? How many Jacks are changing
flat tires? Of those Jacks, how many know a jazzman?
Of those Jacks—who are changing flat tires right now
and know a jazzman—how many only date girls named Jill?
Is Forrest Gump saving Private Ryan? Is Tom Hanks telling
Matt Damon World War II wasn’t his fault? Is Ben Affleck
still a prick? No need to answer that, Batman. Of course Ben
Affleck is still a prick. Now let Robin go. He can’t feel his beak.