Category Archives: Meta-Blog

So To Speak

I can’t write anymore. I hire an editor. She recommends a therapist.

I arrive at the front desk. I share a recent dream in which I tell a stranger nobody understands what I’m trying to say. The stranger agrees but this resolves nothing.

The receptionist says she’s not a therapist. She will be with me in a moment. I give her my name. She looks thirsty. I’m talking about the receptionist. I am told in no uncertain terms to keep my voice down.

I author a book from front to back in a waiting room. I quit dreaming.

I tell a stranger I’m vulnerable. I don’t recommend announcing this in a dark alley after midnight. Or on a first date if you’re into meeting people. A blog is fine. I’m done with books.

I am vulnerable. I write books nobody reads. Books nobody bothered to write but me. Nobody understands what I’m trying to write. Books aren’t blogs aren’t dreams. I fire my editor. This resolves nothing.

I enter a stranger’s dream and say nobody understands what it’s like to tell people on the internet you’re vulnerable. He’s angry with me. I bite my tongue. He throws his voice.

Books are for dummies. I buy mine on Amazon. Books are finished.

A stranger tells his therapist in my dream I don’t understand what I’m trying to say. I agree and this resolves everything. I decide to write cryptic blogs to throw off people on the internet.

I fuck my editor in a dark alley. She says I’m a bad writer. Repeat after me. I’m a bad rider.

I take back my book. Every word.

I write what I know. I quit therapy because I’m too smart for this shit.

I am dumber than a blog post. Someone buys my book and it arrives by drone.

I am thirsty. An author waiting for my therapist tells me he can’t write any more. I ask him to elaborate. This adds words to the universe. Words aren’t people aren’t drones. I see right through the universe. My book drops. Nobody picks it up.

A stranger will see me now. My therapist asks me to elaborate at the same time I ask her to elaborate. She doesn’t get paid to analyze dreams.

I ask my therapist for water. She gives me a voice. So to speak.

She says I am valuable. Repeat after me. I am vulnerable.

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Buy Nervous Lethargy Now

Buy my second book here.

Thank you to everyone who supports my writing. This was a fun process. Here is the Amazon product description:

“Poetry is the language of language.” So writes Charles B. Snoad in the introduction to Nervous Lethargy, a collection of poetry obsessed with the power of words. Snoad asks difficult questions about the nature of truth, the existence of God, the joys and frustrations of desire and falling in love, and the persistence of anxiety in today’s technology-driven global society. The highly sensitive, self-aware speakers in these poems take readers on an existential journey through tragedy, hope, and longing—attuned to the beauty and absurdity of modern life. That feeling when your head spins so fast you can’t get out of bed—this is Nervous Lethargy.

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Nervous Lethargy: Second Proof

My proof copy of Nervous Lethargy arrived the other day. It looks great, but I did make some changes. A second proof copy should ship today. Hopefully, I can go live next week.

The low-resolution image I was worried about looks fine. The spine displays the title and my name fine. Many of the changes I made were minor: some words needed hyphens; a word originally written as two words is actually one. I made a few capitalization errors.

There were two big issues I’ve now fixed. First, a word on the back cover was misspelled. My bad. Second, I wasn’t thrilled with the original pagination. In the first proof I started the first page of the introduction as Page 13, because there are 12 pages of front material. Now the 12 pages of front material have Roman numerals and page one of the introduction is Page 1. Honestly, the pagination process occupied a lot of my time, mostly because I want things to look right, even though the previous format is not wrong, just less common than including Roman numerals.

I must have read the whole book a thousand times. I’m sure next month or a year from now I’ll find something I could’ve changed, but overall I’m proud of my effort. At some point I have to let the book go and trust that I’ve done my best. We’re now one big step closer to the release.

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Nervous Lethargy: Proof Copy

My proof copy of Nervous Lethargy was shipped yesterday. It should arrive next week. Once I look it over and approve the file, my book will be live and ready for purchase via Amazon.

Beyond any typos I may have missed, there may be two substantial issues with the proof copy.

First, one of the images I use on a chapter title page might look blurry. How blurry, I’m not sure. If I’m really not happy with it I may remove it, which means correcting the file, uploading it, waiting a day for Amazon’s computers to check it, ordering another proof copy, waiting for it in the mail, etc. Point is, if it’s better than “OK” I’m not going to remove it and start the process over.

Second, the book is 134 pages. CreateSpace says a book needs to be 131 pages or more for the spine to be wide enough to display the title and author’s name. Since I’m cutting it close, it’s possible the letters will look fuzzy. Again, this isn’t a huge deal, but it’s something I’m looking out for. To correct this issue I simply would need to remove the two blank pages in both the front and back of the book. And then re-start the proof process.

I spent three days formatting Nervous Lethargy (I’m a perfectionist). Hopefully my (neurotic) attention to detail pays off. There will be no Kindle edition. Formatting a poetry book for e-readers is not easy, and I prefer people hold a physical book anyway. I’m old school like that.

Note to anyone who buys a copy: You may find it interesting to search for the Poetry category on this blog to see what changes I’ve made to poems in the book that first appeared here on Sharp Left Turns. By changes, I mean things like cutting unnecessary words, altering line breaks, turning ampersands into “ands,” and other stylistic concerns. I believe the “intention” of the previously published poems remains, if intention as it relates to a poem can be defined. Basically, my worldview hasn’t been edited out of any poems you may recognize from five years ago or last month. I believe in some cases I found a more poetic way of conveying my ideas, thus making them “better,” if that can be defined. Or perhaps some changes have stolen some of the previous magic.

I’m excited to receive my proof, and I hope to go live soon. More updates to come.

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Nervous Lethargy: Assembly Stage

The writing and rewriting and rewriting again and again process is complete. There are 60 poems in Nervous Lethargy. Some date back to 2000; I wrote the latest one two days ago.

Next up: converting each Word document to the proper format I’ve devised for the whole book. Need to set up consistent font size, font style, page orientation, margin settings, page breaks, page numbers, headers, etc. Then merge all the files into one Word file and convert it to a PDF. Then upload the PDF to CreateSpace for their magical computers to check for errors and measure the extent of my madness.

The cover is done. The intro is done. The postscript is done, as is the “about the poet” page. The contents page is not done, but I have already determined the order in which the poems will appear. There are three chapters, each with 20 poems. (I’m nuts for symmetry.)

Once Amazon accepts my file (even if their computers don’t agree with my worldview) I will order a proof copy, which will arrive in my mailbox with free shipping. Thanks, Prime! Then if I’m happy with the whole thing, I’ll say “GO AHEAD, I’M READY TO BARE MY SOUL.” And Nervous Lethargy will go live and I’ll let you know it’s finally here.

 

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Second Book In The Works

I am happy to announce that I have begun writing my second book. Last year I self-published The Intimacy of Communication: A Spiritual Encounter via CreateSpace, and I am using CreateSpace for book number two.

Nervous Lethargy is a collection of poetry from 2000 through today. Some of the poems have appeared here on Sharp Left Turns, but many have not. Still determining what to include and how to arrange them.

I’m excited about the process, and I want to thank my brother Tom Trebswether for “strongly suggesting” I publish a book of poems. More info to follow as I move through the process.

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Student Teacher

“I am not a writer, a philosopher, a great figure of intellectual life: I am a teacher.”—Michel Foucault

A friend said recently, “Maybe you just like to think a lot. It’s not a bad thing, just who you are. A lot of philosophers are writers.”

I found this statement odd at first. Am I a writer or a philosopher? Why can’t I be both? In fact I have been all along. It’s silly to separate the two.

Something’s going on beneath the surface when I’m writing and philosophizing. I’m teaching. In fact I’ve been teaching all along. This blog is full of questions. My book is an exercise in self-discovery and a search for meaning you can hold in your hands.

Foucault was a teacher, but he was also a writer, a philosopher and a great figure of intellectual life. He loved ideas. He had a tragic sense of humor, perfect for (post)modern living. Like all great teachers, he checked his ego at the door and listened before speaking.

I’m not a certified classroom teacher. Why can’t I become one? Because I assumed fifteen years ago I couldn’t handle it? Because running from a challenge was easier than taking it on? I’m in a different place now, but with the same personality, the same interests, the same worldview.

I haven’t written about my depression in a while. Have I learned (how) to live with it?

The universe is not impartial. The gods have no regrets. Fate doubles back to meet us where we’ve gone astray.

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