What I Do For A Living

I help hoarders find Jesus.

I’m a tree surgeon looking to branch out.

I’m a Charlie Brown impersonator. Call me Chuck.

I’m a good grief counselor. I charge five cents.

I import exporters.

I encourage mimes to speak their minds.

I make magicians disappear.

I tell jokes on TV. I keep it clean. I swear.

I’m a bad plumber but a great lover. My wife is always wet.

I’m a hoarse whisperer.

I inspect library books for double meanings and cross them out.

I count census workers.

I sell luxury clown cars. Draw blood. Pound sand. Raise cranes.

I’m a stay-at-home cad.

I greet Walmart customers in my Target uniform and say welcome to Kohl’s.

I’m an unforeseen event planner.

I cry Wolf Blitzer and shout fake news.

I’m a poet. The pay sucks. I sing the blues.

Negative Capability #2

My imagination is a monastery and I am its monk.
—Keats

My face is a mirror
And I am its gaze

My finger is a prick
And I am its tip

My lust is a mistress
And I am its boob

My rear is a bum
And I am its couch

My beard is a garden
And I am its gnome

My faith is a habit
And I am its nun

My fear is a mountain
And I am its cliff

My will is a fortune
And I am its heir

My ego is a lion
And I am its pride

My voice is a note
And I am its tone

My wit is a parent
And I am its kid

My life is a ripple
And I am its wake

Negative Capability

Negative Capability

My imagination is a monastery and I am its monk.
—Keats

My body is a hobby
and I am its pursuit.

My mouth is a pillow
and I am its drool.

My cock is a cave
and I am its rock.

My mind is a meadow
and I am its dew.

My heart is a snare
and I am its beat.

My tongue is a palette
and I am its brush.

My foot is a fetish
and I am its shoe.

My soul is a theory
and I am its proof.

My breath is a breeze
and I am its blow.

My nose is a sniffer
and I am its glue.

My eye is a flicker
and I am its screen.

My hand is a jack
and I am its load.

My life is a boar
and I am its grunt.

c b snoad
draft 1-15-13
edit 1-19-17